Turning 40 and What I’ve Learned (nothing…I’ve learned nothing)

The thing about being an adult (and I think I can say this with some authority, as I have been an adult over half my life) is that it’s a bunch of BS.  The idea that there is an expected way we behave as adults, responsibilities we are required to take on, and accomplishments we are suppose to reach is nonsense.  It is something, in my opinion, is created by media for good or evil.

MjAxMy02ZjIzOTk2MmRmN2IxNTY2.pngIn the last week I have been told I need to wear my big girl panties about 5 times.  Why?  Because other adults are just as childish as I am and its frustrating.  We all want to dominate the conversation and be able to change people’s minds with our brilliant insight.  We all don’t get other people’s situations.  We all assume our lives are all the same. Isn’t everyone an introvert who would rather sit at home with a puppy than go and be social?  Isn’t everyone exhausted? Actually, I think the last one may be close to universal for adults… we are all exhausted.

I too am tired of people, political posts on Facebook, being told I am over reacting, being judged for how I want to spend my time.  I believe being an adult is different for each one of us.  I, personally, fail the most when I try to do what everyone else is doing rather than what I want to do.  What the phrase “big girl panties” suggests is that I am whining about something I don’t like.  Believe me, I do plenty of that.  What it wants me to do is be an adult.  Again, we are being told to behave a certain way, a way that so few actually do behave.  Almost every single one of the people who told me that phrase this week were acting like douche bags.

See, what the concept of “big girl panties” criticizes is asking for help.  It is the message of the stoic: you are alone, life sucks, shut the fuck up.  In one case this week, I asked a group of people for help dealing with a situation that was hurting the group.  Some of us had tried to find a solution on our own, but when failing to do so, I decided to ask the group.  Rather than assist, they turned it into us complaining and not really trying hard enough to fix it on our own.

You are not alone.  We are all dealing with the same people who think they are going to change with world with a Facebook post.  We are all exhausted and would love a nap.  We all over spend our money and need to find a way to fix things.  The key is to not shut others down when they ask for help.  The key is to not make others think they have to deal with things on their own.  We need to remember that sometimes getting out of bed is putting on your big girl panties.

 

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