Books finished this week:
- Flat pink Moscato because I let it sit in the fridge too long and the bubbles dissipated. This happens with bubbly things.
It’s too late to eat anything. I have 1 minute until John Oliver comes on TV and makes me laugh at the stupidity of the world. Three books again this week. Three books in the middle of a very busy week and weekend. I wanted to finish Furiously Happy for this meeting. Why? It has been sitting by my bed since Book Expo.
No, let me take it back further. For reasons I will explain in another entry, a friend suggested I read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir. I finally did so this March as an audiobook. I was intrigued by the cover. Click the link to see why. It was not what I expected, but made me a devoted fan of author Jenny Lawson. I started following her on Twitter, Instagram, and her blog. It is hard to explain why. She talks a lot about her depression, her anxiety, taxidermied animals, and other related topics. I am not someone with an excess of anxiety or depression. I am surrounded by people who do have these issues (you know who you are- I am actually talking about you). Sadly, nobody I know likes taxidermied animals…
I do have experience with depression and not just seasonal (though I do get that thanks to nearly 15 winters). From the age of 20 – 23 I suffered from the most severe depression of my life. It was not a chemical imbalance the way it is for many people. It was a cycle of circumstances, many within my control and many only inside my head, that had me failing out of college, moving home in massive (for me, at the time) credit card debt, and wondering if I would ever see the end of it. I know depression lies because I was there listening to it tell me that my parents would hate me, I would never be able to afford to live anywhere again, I would never be able to go back to college, I deserved to work in fast food for the rest of my life, and this was my punishment for being an idiot.
I know what triggers my current bouts of depression primarily because I can process things that way. I spend a lot of time in self- reflection, especially when in the depression. When I read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened in March I was coming out of my latest dip into depression. In fact, I am still working to get through the end of it. It was so very helpful to read a book about someone else who struggles with depression, even if it is different. She helped me remember that I if I can’t just will myself out of depression, then how can I expect to solve the anxiety and depression of the people I love? I can’t solve it because it isn’t something for me to solve. I just have to be supportive and not get aggravated too often.
I wanted everyone to read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened until tonight. Now I want you all to read Furiously Happy. It was chance that led me to find out that Furiously Happy would be a give away at Book Expo this year. As a result I stalked the publisher’s booth. This is how I got my hands on that above mask. They gave them to everyone who came by before the book give away. I often stalk a booth at Book Expo. You can quickly lose a chance at a book because you missed the give away while you were half a mile away on the other end of the expo floor.
The point is this: you are not alone in your depression and anxiety. I don’t care what your head tells you: depression lies. Read both books and don’t hide.
Also, if I tell you I want a taxidermied animal, don’t believe me. It’s too creepy for me. I want a living puppy!