Not every girl has her dream wedding planned. Not every girl even cares about the possibility of getting married. Some of us are more interested in what we’re going to be when we grow up. Not as a way to fill the time until we get married, but because we value something different about ourselves and want that instead. As much as we might want Happily Ever After, it might not involve a wedding.
Obsession with marriage is my second Romance book sin. If that’s what you want for your life, yes, go get it! What I object to is the sheer number of strong women who have life plans that they’ve nearly achieved, yet they are obsessed with getting married. This is, after all, the reason they need to constantly be dieting. Who will want to marry the fat girl (trust me, plenty of great men fall in love with ‘fat’ girls).
I happen to have completely bad luck with love, but I’ve never really seen myself as someone’s wife or mother. I never had the binder of wedding plans. I have notebooks full of five-year plans for career and life. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to fall in love. It just means my end goal isn’t marriage and it makes it illogical to settle for someone who doesn’t fulfill my needs.
My needs include: dinner delivery. Everything else I do on my own (yes… that too). I wanted something to cuddle, I got a puppy who is far better at cuddles than any boyfriend I’ve had. I want to travel somewhere, I go and often by myself. For example, I wanted to go to Disney World in October, so I went. I do what I want.
The marriage-obsessed narrator seems to be waiting for her life to begin. She doesn’t do what she wants because she’s too busy trying to find the right man to marry her.
If we get back to my issues with representation, this too is diversity women need. If we continue to obsess about getting married, we will continue to only value ourselves as wives (and mothers… but that’s for the next entry). The fact is that women have value beyond how we support men. If we want to make sure women have equality then we need to make sure we all value ourselves and don’t force other women to accept that marriage and motherhood are the only roles for them.
In the comments tell me a good romance novel that isn’t a woman obsessed with getting married.
P.S. As I was searching for gifs for this, I found a large number of shirtless Jamie Dornan… specifically from the 50 Shades movies, which I like to watch on mute. This is my Happily Ever After…